It’s National Sandwich Day, everybody, the most delicious day of the year. Unless, of course, you find yourself saddled with one of these losers.

We’re particular about our sandwiches. It’s got to look like a sandwich, it has to be filled with yummy, complimentary ingredients while remaining mouth-sized, and most importantly, it can’t be an affront to God and man alike.

All of these sandwiches fail that simple test. Do not seek them out, do not make them on your own. You have been warned.

A National Sandwich Month / bowling season tradition. This time I had the jalapeno cheese and onion rings.

From the Tin Can‘s menu: “We take our Grilled Cheese with its 6 slices of cheese, our BLT with its 4 slices of bacon and toss a 5 oz. burger in the middle. Um, yeah. You know you want one.”

Enjoyed at Loufest, bought at the Entré tent. Good stuff.

Grilled brats from Missouri’s Todd Geisert Farms. Served with black beans, spinach & corn on the cob.

Hey, it’s a liverwurst from the Tap Room!

I skipped yesterday (fail) so I challenged myself to something different today: A pickled tongue sandwich from Kenny & Zuke’s Delicatessen in Portland.

It was awesome. Tasted more like corned beef than tongue (I am a tongue-eating expert). Served with Russian dressing.

And the Hungarian mushroom soup on the side was awesome too.

Eaten at 30,000 feet en route to Portland. Bought at Brioché Doree in the STL airport. To be honest, I almost always get a tomato, mozzarella & basil sandwich from there for a flight, but this time I mixed it up.

Bought at the YMCA swimming pool concession stand. Had never tried these before, but I would again as long as they weren’t from a swimming pool concession stand.