“This tea is called Monkey Picked Tea, and it’s not just a name it’s a fact. According to legend, monkeys used to pick tea from high branches and brought them to their masters. The masters — mostly monks — thought it was delicious and so a cycle was born. These days, the monkey picking tea practice has all but died out, but apparently one remote village continues the tradition.” (Thanks Coudal Partners!)

“A big, warm hug works wonders, even in the monkey world. Female spider monkeys without infants, it seems, will hug mother monkeys in exchange for permission to kiss, sniff and touch their babies.”

“Wacky Monkey Alarm Clock will amuse even the grumpiest sleepyhead! You’ll wake up laughing to the “oo-oo-oo-ahh-ha-ha” sounds of the cute chimp on the clock’s face. Classic double bell style alarm clock features easy-to-read numbers and sweep second hand.”

“Some things, humans were not meant to know. Other things, most humans don’t particularly care whether they know or not. In the latter category falls the mysterious process by which a lonely, unwanted toy becomes a full-fledged Woot screaming monkey. But you weirdos are not ‘most humans.’ Here for your infotainment: the true story of one monkey’s journey from obscurity to just west of obscurity.”

There’s a group on Flickr called “700 Things” that aims to collect 700 drawings in each of 700 categories. They already have 700 Pirates and 700 Robots going. Maybe they’ll start a monkey group. This is a spin-off of the 700 Hobo Names thing by John Hodgman.

Anyway, here are a couple images that have some RPM overlap: First, #298. Nauticon the Pirate Robot and second, #158. Captain Andromeda and the Space Monkeys. Yippee!

“For a monkey, not all images are created equal. A new report reveals that the animals value some pictures more than others and are willing to pay for the privilege of viewing the important ones. The results indicate that monkeys, like people, value information based on its social context.”

“Chimpanzees living in the West African savannah have been observed fashioning deadly spears from sticks and using the tools to hunt small mammals — the first routine production of deadly weapons ever observed in animals other than humans.

The multistep spearmaking practice, documented by researchers in Senegal who spent years gaining the chimpanzees’ trust, adds credence to the idea that human forebears fashioned similar tools millions of years ago.”

I’m working on a big RPM project and I want your suggestions for the coolest robots, pirates and monkeys ever. Now, of course I’ve got C-3PO, Blackbeard and Curious George on the list — I need suggestions for RPMs that might not be part of the fabric of popular culture. Or RPMs that are more underground. Or whatever.

So send me your ideas! You get bonus points for including a useful web link, but it’s not required. Everyone who contributes will have their name put in a hat and one random winner will receive a cool set of prizes (which will somehow include robots, pirates and monkeys).

The deadline? It may change, but let’s say March 15. Thanks!

“Tiny Monkey Industries is a leading manufacturer of things both useful and ridiculous. We specialize in developing cutting edge technologies in monkey studies, humor generation and miniaturization.”

It’s done! I finally did it. The Monkey vs. Robot covers compilation is done! The CD features seven covers of James Kochalka’s classic. Everyone who participated will get a copy and a special excellent prize. Here is the awesome list of people and bands that went and done good:

1 Bob Dorsey
2 Rudy Charisma
3 John Miner
4 Tha Shewz
5 Mike Watkins
6 Reddy Killsalot
7 Fandangoya
8 James Kochalka Superstar

Hey, Monkey Day is tomorrow, December 14!

Monkey Sounds! | “Only Monkeymania provides you with such a wide selection of MONKEY SOUNDS! And we do it because we care!”

Last call for RPM contest entries! I’ve got to end this contest sometime. Send me your cover versions of James Kochalka’s “Monkey Vs. Robot!” Everyone who enters gets a cool prize, and I’ll buy one winner something from their Amazon Wish List (priced within reason). You have until December 3, 2006.

I’ve reinstituted, extended and enhanced the RPM cover song contest! Just record a cover version of James Kochalka’s “Monkey Vs. Robot” and send the MP3 to me by the end of the year. YOU COULD WIN AWESOME ROBOT-, PIRATE- AND MONKEY-RELATED PRIZES!

“When a client calls me and asks ‘Can you illustrate a Monkey, a Robot and a Pirate?’ you have to pinch yourself to make sure it’s not a dream.”

Robin Monkey
Originally uploaded by zoomar.

Painted by Matthew Porter

Even robots, pirates and monkeys need Valentine’s love too. See if you can spot the RPMs at The Stranger’s Extra Special Valentines page: “GIRL ROBOT!, You see the good in everyone! … My Monkey, Life with you couldn’t be better! … Casey M, My very own pirate. I love the way you kiss.”

“Queens Nails Annex is pleased to present a solo exhibition by Oakland-based artist Desiree Holman. An installation-based work, Troglodyte, incorporates video, sculpture and large format photography… Both fantastical and absurd, Holman has constructed multiple wearable chimpanzee-like sculptures.”

monkey kit
Originally uploaded by goopymart.

Holy crap Goopy is the master.